I don’t believe that my life is entertaining enough to have my own reality show but it definitely is interesting enough to write about and/or read about. The past few weeks up until today, I’ve found myself being tested. My character has been challenged and reaffirmed many times in just a few short weeks.

I’ve begun volunteering with the most amazing and extraordinary women who happen to have special needs. Once a week, I look forward to our interactions. They teach me just as much as I teach them. One of the most memorable conversations to date went something like this. So we were talking about one of the women and she was telling us all about her boyfriend and how everyone at the job thinks they are the cutest couple. Then she asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told her no. Then all of the ladies say “awww I’m sorry”. I had to laugh and assure them that it was ok. So she went on about her and her boyfriend and the other lady shared that her boyfriend had died. Once she said that I had to wrap up the conversation and I proposed that we watch a movie the next week. Then most of the ladies agreed that they wanted to see a muppet babies movie. I was thinking how in the world did we go from boyfriends to muppet babies?! I felt so good leaving that place! They remind me that there are still folks out here who are pure, honest, kind, innocent, and all out good people in this world. I learned that every person on this earth is worthy. Everyone has something to offer and that there are many teachable moments in everyday…you just gotta slow down to catch em.

I’ve tried a new experience. Although it’s been about 6 months since the retreat of a dear friendship, more than enough time has passed for me to foster other meaningful friendships/relationships with other people. So in order to address this…what it seems to be known as “need” in my life I tried this new thing. This new thing has been interesting, intriguing, exciting, and kind of boring all within the same breath. Let’s just say, I’ve had some positive and negative experiences with this “new” thing and I’ll keep it up for a few more months. One thing that I have to keep reminding myself to do is “not compare”. I keep telling myself, “Fe, push through the temptation of comparison”. It’s really not fair…trust me I know -_- I learned that new is not always better but it won’t get better unless you try. You never really know where life will take you but I’ll have you know that I’ve prayed for something very specific and of course it is DONE! I’m just patiently waiting to receive it.

I’ve been challenged professionally. I’ve had someone accuse me of something that I simply did not do. I was so upset because I do so much in my workplace that is beyond my job description so for someone to nitpick my job performance certainly did not rub me the right way. I was given the opportunity to address the allegation and set the record straight haha. Moreover, I’ve been blessed with a job. A good one at that. However, in that setting I am forced to work alongside people who do not share the same values as me. I found myself eating in my office by myself and be quite despondent. Then I had to ask myself, is this the Felicia who you want others to see. Is this how Felicia would act. The answer is no and of course I’ve been able to overcome the fundamental differences with the folks that I work with while trying earnestly to maintain a professional and approachable demeanor. The lesson that was reinforced with these two incidents was to let me light shine through any adversity…just let it shine. In the same place, I have fostered some really awesome relationships. One that has landed me summer job in a leadership role and I gained a wonderful friend. Have you ever meant someone who is so amazing that you are so happy that God put that person in your life? That’s how I feel about this one friend. She is amazing and I would’ve never met her it weren’t for this job. I learned that despite seemingly difficult situations/environments - there is always some good in there…always.

Ahhh then there is family. I was sooooo disrespected by a family member recently. She was completely out of line and instead of choosing to engage in a screaming match with this unreasonable person at the time, I decided to simply walk away. Will I get an apology? Probably not. The lesson that was reinforced was that wisdom does not always come with age. Therefor I’ve learned to meet people where they are and in your dealings with them…do so on an individual basis. Certain expectations of people will only cause you more distress in the long run.

I guess just to wrap this up…I been reflecting. I know who Felicia is…and she is pretty awesome. She is amazing. She is beautiful. She just is…and I simply love this woman. I really do. In saying that, there is always room for improvement so I’m purposely taking time to be the best Felicia I can be. I make mistakes and can be a Felicia that I don’t necessarily care for. That’s ok though because this Felicia is awesome enough to know that she has some things to work on. I am truly one of God’s masterpieces - I’m just in the making :)